I had a recent conversation with a fellow veteran who said that he had been struggling through a very dark time when he received “the call,” referring to an unexpected phone call from a former teammate in the military.
Max shared, “I was leaning over the edge…slipping, exhausted, in pain. I can’t answer why the call came when it did, but it was like a shot of adrenaline. It pulled me back from the edge.”
Max’s powerful reaction to the outreach from a fellow warrior and how it had helped arrest his downward spiral is a shining example of how the simplest, most human gesture of caring can have life-changing and life-saving results.
A life-saving tool
That’s the straightforward premise underpinning National Warrior Call Day, which falls on Nov. 15 this year.
National Warrior Call Day is a call to action for family, friends, coworkers and everyone in between to reach out to those who have served our nation in uniform, whether in the military or as first responders. It provides an opportunity to thank our valiant men and women for their selfless service and let them know that they are not forgotten. It asks people to listen closely and connect them with support, if necessary.
Perhaps most importantly, a call to a warrior helps ensure that they don’t descend into isolation, which is a powerful precursor to suicidal patterns.
The U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) concludes in its summation of the research, social isolation is “arguably the strongest and most reliable predictor of suicidal ideation, (suicide) attempts, and lethal suicidal behavior.”
Social isolation, the Uniformed Services University said about U.S. veterans, “destroys you slowly, from the inside out, which is why researchers have termed it as ‘a silent killer.’”
And it’s not only suicide that isolation foments. Compared to civilians, veterans who suffer social isolation are at an increased risk for heart disease, stroke, emergency room visits and hospitalization, according to the Center for Deployment Psychology, which is part of the government’s Uniformed Services University. The school is responsible for training military doctors and researchers.
Toasts to fallen teammates
When Max called me, it was my turn to receive a warrior call. I hadn’t heard from him in years. His Texas twang instantly brought back memories of the best time of my life. We laughed uncontrollably, resurrecting and embellishing our old deployment stories together.
Then Max asked out of the blue, “How are you really doing? I sense something, what is it?”
I couldn’t lie to him. He knew me better than anyone, even after all these years apart. Max didn’t live too far away, and the next thing I knew he was knocking at my door. He said he wanted to take me to the VA center and that we were going to get through this together.
On a weekend soon after, Max rallied a gathering of our former teammates. We got together at a place in the countryside. We all sat around a fire pit catching up, sharing stories and breaking each other’s chops…no mercy.
There were a lot of hugs, toasts to fallen teammates and salty tears masked by the light rain that was falling. I realized sitting around that fire that I wasn’t alone. The stuff that I was going through, my feelings – they were experienced by many around me. We pledged to stay connected and hold each other accountable.
Sitting around that fire, I understood what Max’s call had given me: a way back and a reminder that I did not have to face what came next alone. That is the spirit of National Warrior Call Day—not just on Nov. 15, but every day we choose to reach out.
Please make the call. Ask, “How are you really doing?” Then stay long enough to hear the answer.
